Blog Self Growth

Bonds: musings on Self-Love, Growth, and Relationships by Noah Dahan

September 11, 2017
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Editor’s note: Noah Dahan is family to me. He has always been a very deep, profound thinker, and I think his musings on unrequited love, self-love, relationships and growth might move you, the way they did me.

A misconception of love is that it should flow both ways. Sadly, the reality is it doesn’t work that way for most people. Too often, we love things that either cannot or do not yet possess the capabilities to love back. From a delusional sense of the emotion in general to a dependence on others. You must learn to love yourself before even considering giving love to anyone else.

We are clouded by so many complex emotions and stimuli that the idea of real love has truly been lost and is very rare these days.

Learn who you are first.

Learn to love yourself, expand your mind and allow yourself to see your reflection in all. After that allow yourself to just gravitate naturally to whoever comes your way. Love must come from within first for a mutual benefit between two separate beings.

You and your future partner should be able to see yourselves in each other, perfections, flaws, the good, the bad. You should see potential.

 Not just in them, you should see potential in yourself BECAUSE of them.


“How can he/she make me a better person?”

“What do I see in him/her that brings out the good in me?”

They should spark something in you and vice versa. Creating this action potential that starts what we call a healthy monogamous relationship.

That’s what your “love” is right? Two separate forms of matter creating a union with each other. So they can grow and expand in this world. Now that couldn’t be a better representation of how all things in existence interact.

Well, one small step at a time. If we can’t learn how to truly love ourselves first, how could we even fathom giving it to someone else?

Figure out yourself out, learn to love who you are in this life, what your passions are and you will already be on the right path.

Spend some time alone. I know how hard it can be but we need some solidarity in this life.

A Russian author by the name of Fyodor Dostoyevsky once said: “Solitude for the mind is as essential as food for the body”. I truly believe it is during times of solitude when we grow the most.

Call me old fashioned or a hopeless romantic, but I believe these bonds we share are so very crucial to our existence and we must utilize them to the fullest!           

Whether you’re already in a relationship, trying to make it work, on the prowl, or just trying to deepen bonds with your friends, now is as good a time as ever to reevaluate and learn on a deeper level, who you and the people you spend your time with are. Interpret how you please. Self-development never stops in this life. Never stop allowing yourself to expand!

Any sense of separation is an illusion coaxed by ego.

“As above, so below,”  “All is one, One is all.”

Thank you so much for reading!

by Noah Dahan, an aspiring writer trying to piece it all together. love



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1 Comment

  • Reply Clarice September 12, 2017 at 10:09 PM

    This was truly inspiring, it made me realize how much I still have to work on myself, and that there is nothing wrong with that. Thank you.

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