One of the plagues of the 21st century is living in our minds. It causes us undue suffering, and escaping yourself becomes an increasingly difficult task. Loving What Is author Byron Katie has simplified the art of moving on and healing into a series of four straightforward questions. Her method of self-inquiry has helped heal thousands of people who were trapped within their own minds, suffering day in and day out.
Along with this method, Byron Katie has spoken around the world at conferences, meetups, churches, and more, and handed out uncomplicated advice and words of wisdom that has helped so many. Some of her quotes are downright therapeutic. I’ve collected 22 of quotes – go through them one by one, and watch how easily you can alleviate the pain that haunts you.
Katie’s method is called The Work. It is extremely simple:
The four questions are: 1) Is it true? 2) Can you absolutely know that it’s true? 3) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? and 4) Who would you be without the thought?
Turnarounds: Could the opposite be as true? Turn the statement around to the opposite, to the self, and to the other. This is a way of experiencing the opposite of what you believe.
Try her method out today to work through anything that has been causing you stress and anxiety. Then, check out her words of wisdom:
1. “Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change
your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.”
2. “Anything you want to ask a teacher, ask yourself, and wait for the answer in silence.”
3. “If you believe that anyone’s action is bad, how can you see the good in it? How can you see the good that comes out of it, maybe years later? If you see anyone as bad, how can you understand that we are all created equal? We’re all teachers by the way we live. A blind drunk can teach more about why not to drink than an abstinent man in all his piety. No one has more or less goodness. No one who ever lived is a better or a worse human being than you.”
4. “It’s not your job to like me – it’s mine.”
5. “When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.”
6. “All the advice you ever gave your partner is for you to hear.”
7. “Nothing comes ahead of its time, and nothing ever happened that didn’t need to happen.”
8. “As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”—as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.”
9. “All I have is all I need and all I need is all I have in this moment.”
10. “I love what I think, and I’m never tempted to believe it.”
11. “I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.”
12. “Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon, nor too late. You don’t have to like it…it’s just easier if you do.”
13. “I am the perpretor of my suffering – but only all of it.”
14. “Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.”
15. “I’m a lover of reality. When I argue with What Is, I lose, but only 100% of the time.”
16. Taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.”
17. “Nothing can cost you someone you love. The only thing that can cost you your husband is if you believe a thought. That’s how you move away from him. That’s how the marriage ends.
You are one with your husband until you believe the thought that he should look a certain way, he should give you something, he should be something other than what he is. That’s how you divorce him. Right then and there you have lost your marriage.”
18. “Thoughts are just what is. They appear. They’re innocent. They’re not personal. They’re like the breeze or the leaves on the trees or the raindrops falling. Thoughts arise like that, and we can make friends with them. Would you argue with a raindrop?”
19. “I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours and God’s. Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation.”
20. “A teacher of fear can’t bring peace on Earth. We have been trying to do it that way for thousands of years. The person who turns inner violence around, the person who finds peace inside and lives it, is the one who teaches what true peace is. We are waiting for just one teacher. You’re the one.”
21. “You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer.”
22. “Hurt feelings or discomfort of any kind cannot be caused by another person. No one outside me can hurt me. That’s not a possibility. It’s only when I believe a stressful thought that I get hurt. And I’m the one who’s hurting me by believing what I think. This is very good news, because it means that I don’t have to get someone else to stop hurting me. I’m the one who can stop hurting me. It’s within my power.”