Falling in love again or allowing love into your heart and into your life after you’ve been hurt so badly, is not an easy feat. But it’s the bravest thing you could do, and I’m here today to remind you exactly how you can do that. When our heart is broken, we want to shut out all prospects of love. We will even start to date someone, but keep our hearts closed because WHAT IF I GET HURT?
You’ve got to be fearless in love, in order to really enjoy love. Fearless, not stupid, and there’s a fine line between those two. I have found that there are two ways to be brave enough to truly love.
1. Know that you always got yourself, no matter what happens, so you can love whoever you want for however long you want. For some, that might mean having financial independence that will not depend on another person For others, it might be inner child work – reminding yourself that you, yourself, will always have your back. You will always be there to catch yourself when you fall. If things don’t work out, you’re still going to be okay because you know how to take care of yourself. For you, it might be a self-worthiness and confidence thing, where you have to make sure you spend time working on that self-love and self-care to be the kind of person who sees themselves as worthy of love, and who knows that if things don’t work out, there will always be someone else, so there’s nothing to be afraid of.
2. Know that every person that comes to your life is a paint stroke that enhances the greater masterpiece. For better or for worse, they add to the painting of your life. And art is subjective – anyone can find beauty in it. If you can become the kind of person who honors the time spent with someone, and who can love them regardless of everything (After an appropriate amount of mourning, of course) for what they have brought to your life, how they have enriched you. Even if they hurt you, they made you see more of what you want, more of what you’re not willing to compromise on, what is and isn’t important to you. If you can become this kind of person, there’s nothing to be afraid of because love is just a part of your growing process. It’s a beautiful thing.
My friend Jocelyn once told me, “As deeply as we are willing to meet ourselves in pain, is as deep as we are going to allow ourselves to feel pleasure and love.” “When I feel afraid of love, I think about how brave it is to face that, and what the possibility could bring” Remember this, in your journey to love again.